Youth as Policy Targets, Not Policy Makers
Youth as Policy Targets, Not Policy Makers - By Neva Lopez
Spoken About, Not Spoken With: The Silencing of Youth Voices
In today’s world, young people are constantly talked about—by teachers, parents, politicians, and the media. Adults analyze our behavior, debate our choices, and make decisions that shape our lives, often without asking for our input. This pattern reveals a larger issue: youth are spoken about, but rarely spoken with.
Even though society claims to care about the well-being of young people, it continues to treat us as passive subjects rather than active participants in conversations that directly affect us. This disconnect misrepresents our experiences and leads to decisions that fail to address the real needs of youth. Adults often assume they understand teenagers simply by observing us from the outside. They see us using our phones and conclude we are “addicted to screens.” They hear us express stress and label us “dramatic.” They notice changes in our behavior and immediately blame social media, laziness, or attitude. Instead of asking what we are actually feeling or experiencing, adults fill in the blanks with their own assumptions. This creates a one-sided narrative where adults feel confident speaking as if they know our inner world, even though they rarely take the time to listen. It is like reviewing a book based only on its cover: some guesses might be close, but the real story remains unread.
A major reason this happens is adultism—a belief, often unspoken, that adults automatically know more or understand better simply because they are older. Adultism shows up in everyday comments like “You’ll understand when you’re older” or “You’re too young to have an opinion on that.” These statements shut down conversations before they even begin, sending the message that youth perspectives are incomplete, unimportant, or not worth considering.
What makes this especially frustrating is that adults frequently claim to care about youth issues such as mental health, school pressure, and online safety. Yet they rarely ask the people actually experiencing these issues for insight. It is contradictory to say you want to help young people while refusing to hear their voices. The consequences of speaking for youth instead of with them are visible everywhere:
Schools create mental-health programs without asking students what would genuinely support them.
Politicians debate laws about social media without understanding how teens use the internet to connect, learn, and express themselves.
Parents complain about academic stress while encouraging overloaded schedules filled with AP classes, sports, and extracurriculars.
When adults make decisions based on assumptions rather than conversations, the solutions they create often feel disconnected from reality. Young people end up navigating systems that claim to support us but rarely reflect our actual needs or experiences.
What adults often overlook is that young people are experts in their own lives. We understand what it feels like to grow up in a constantly changing world. We know the pressures of balancing school, mental health, friendships, and expectations. We understand the role technology plays in our lives because we are the ones using it every day, not reading articles about it. When adults genuinely listen, they are often surprised by how thoughtful, aware, and informed teens actually are. We are not clueless or naive; we are simply rarely given the chance to speak without being dismissed.
If society truly wants to support young people, it must shift from talking about us to talking with us. This means:
Giving youth real input in decisions that affect our lives, whether in schools, communities, or politics.
Asking questions instead of assuming answers.
Treating our experiences as valid forms of knowledge rather than something to correct or ignore.
Listening to youth is not a threat to adult authority—it is a path to better understanding, stronger relationships, and more effective solutions. Young people do not need adults to be our voice. We need adults to hand us the microphone and actually listen when we speak. Only then can conversations about youth become conversations with youth, and only then can society begin to understand the realities we live every day.
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